Schizophrenia, Enlightenment

G – Everything is connected, but some things lie closer together on the infinite mesh of interconnectedness than others. This is the case with schizophrenia and what is called enlightenment. They are two manifestations of the same phenomenon. In both cases the mind has come to the end of conventional thought. There are two possible reactions to this. The first is to let go of the mind and the ego. The other is to try to maintain the mind and ego in the face of the infinite, which is dangerous.

S - Can you explain what you mean by “to the end of conventional thought”?

G – Thought is limited. What the mind can know is limited. What can be known is infinite. When something limited comes up against something infinite, it reveals itself as being infinitely small. Some people, for whatever reason, have an experience of this infinity, this nothingness out of which all manifestation springs. When that happens, their consciousness undergoes a revolution. This is what happened to Jesus, to the Buddha, and to a great many more people who we have never heard of. This is also what happens to what we call schizophrenics, although their consciousnesses are prevented from undergoing the same revolution due mainly to fear. They are afraid—and this is not a judgement of them—of letting go of their egos, of their thoughts, and of falling back into that infinite nothingness that they have become aware of. Of course, it is impossible to try to figure out infinity, and to carry the ego into infinity.

S – You're saying they are refusing to let themselves “go crazy” and in so doing actually go crazy.

G – Crazy is a particularly meaningless word, but for lack of a better one, yes. This analogy might help. Imagine you have been born and raised in an empty reservoir. In this reservoir, where you have spent all your life, you have gradually filled up a large bag with pebbles. You have loved finding and examining every one of these pebbles. They are your treasures, and you have put each one of them in your bag for safekeeping. Over time you have come to associate completely with this collection of pebbles. This bag of little stones has become your identity. It is all that you know of yourself. Then one day, when your bag has filled up and become rather heavy, water begins to fill up the reservoir. First it is an inch high, then two, then three. Gradually the water level rises. You are of course alarmed. You have never seen this liquid substance before, and now it is inundating you. You clutch your bag to protect it from the rising torrent of water. Soon the water has reached your neck, and you have become very frightened. Now something inside you, some infinitely distant inner voice, tells you that you must let go of your bag of stones in order to swim and not drown. What, let go of your stones! What does that even mean? You are your stones. If you let go of them you will be nothing. It’s almost better to drown than let that happen. Now here we have come to the deciding moment. You can put down the bag of stones and swim, or you can hold onto it and flounder. The bag is your identity, your thoughts, everything that you believe makes you who you are. The bag is your separateness. You cannot keep it, yet many try to.

S – I think I see.

G – If you try to maintain your ego—which is all about division, creating objects out of the word for the subject that you are to interact with—then you are going to be overcome with fear. It will seem like infinity itself is lining up in opposition to you. Everyone will seem to be out to get you. Everything will seem to relate to you. Fear is the result of this.

S – So what happens if you let go of the bag? You become Jesus I suppose.

G – No, you become what you are in essence, which is what Jesus was in essence—pure love. You are that which has always been aware of your thoughts, of your ego. You become the swimmer instead of the bag of stones.

S – What happens then?

G – The thoughts will still come, and some of them will be very strange indeed, and will seem absolutely correct. You may want to cling onto them. If you simply let them arise and do not grasp them, they will go back to where they came from. Now you will begin to see what is, you will apprehend reality in all its glory. I assure you, when you see reality, thoughts will become laughably small in your awareness.

S – Ah….thanks.

G- You are, as always, very welcome.

Further Comments:

Letting to is the answer. Once the filter through which the world is seen falls away (that filter is your conception of yourself), you are free to see the world as it is. Holding onto ego in the face of the infinite is, I am sure, the reason for schizophrenia. What awaits you when you let go is complete and natural sanity. What we call sanity today has nothing in common with it. I'm not saying the strange thoughts will not still come, you will just see them for the dust and wind that they are.

It happens on its own through direct realization. The more clearly you see the infinitely small nature of your thoughts--no matter how strange and compelling--the easier it is to let them just be and then be on their way. Do not seek to get rid of thought, do not position yourself against thought, try to suppress it, squash it, etc. Thought is a natural aspect of this experience we are all having, but clinging to it and making sandcastles out of that thought is not. Thought is not your enemy. Instead, realize the unreality of your thoughts and relax. Let the rest take care of itself. It will.

Metaphors and analogy are just more thought. I hand you that. Mine makes no more sense than yours as a thought. You cannot plan your escape from fear, or thought, or anything unpleasant. There is no process that can liberate you. Direct realization in the present is all we have.

We think. "I am at level two because I have these spiritual characteristics...if I can just replace these less evolved spiritual characteristics with others that are more evolved, I will move up a level, or even skip right to the top level...Okay, so how do I get rid of these characteristics...what do I have to do, oh, why is so hard to get rid of these characteristics?....Maybe I need a new guru, another spiritual book, or maybe I should go on ATS and read some guy's spiritual musings...etc, etc" You see how any structure through which you must move, or which categorizes you, invokes the through-based mind, and sets up internal oppositions which are inherently self-blocking? Instead, the realization, that you are fully complete here and now, with nothing to do but realize that, brings you back to what is you seek. You find, ironically, by not seeking, but seeing what is...

Fear of the loony bin is a very common thing...I've had it many times. But when we realize that what we call "insanity" and "sanity" are both though-based states, concepts, ideas, unrealities, we see more clearly that there is nothing to be afraid of. Really, what you fear is only yourself, your true nature, which is nothing other than an infinite expanse of love. You are not unkind, or evil, or devious, or a killer, or anything which can be pointed to only by categorizing the world and carving it up into individual thoughts. You are much much more than that. As long as you are not buying into more thought, you are moving towards what is, and there is nothing to fear in that.

I do not claim enlightenment nor guru status, and anyone who does should be looked on with a proper amount of caution. Realization is a humbling experience not a self-aggrandizing one. Anyone who tells you that they have answers which you yourself do not have access to does not know what they are talking about. Anyone who sets themselves up as in any way superior to you has not realized. There is an egotistical side to spiritual awakening that all must be aware of. The ego reasserts itself in a position of spiritual dominance or superiority over others, and this is more dangerous than an unawake individual could ever be. ...and of course...sitting under a tree, or being up on a stage, or having followers, or not having followers, or not sitting under a tree, and all of that has nothing to do with what I am trying to point to. As for the void, which you seem to be comparing to a kind of conceptual emptiness, nihilism, etc, this is not the nothingness I am pointing to. The nothingness I am taking about is only nothing in so far as the mind is not able to grasp it. The source of true kindness, generosity, love, etc, is that very nothingness. However, when "good" works are only the result of wanting to "get into heaven," or to be "well regarded," or to atone for "sins", etc, then the source is the ego and mind: fear, competition, greed. These undo the good deed before it is even made.

It's important to be aware of the difficulty and terror that those with schizophrenia experience and not to diminish it, or to imply that they are somehow less than because they have not realized that they are not their thoughts, and that the universe bears no fundamental relationship to their thoughts. To say that a direct realization of one's true nature will stop the fear that schizophrenia inspires, is not to say that it is easy for schizophrenics to have that realization. I am not talking about easy or hard, possible or impossible...only what is. The problem is that the moment of realization comes when the mind can be seen for what it is, and it may well be that the speed and fluidity of the schizophrenics mind makes this more challenging...but I would say that the realization remains open to all because it is what we are. I have seen people literally pull themselves out of schizophrenia with the realization that all thought is illusory. For whatever reason, I have been surrounded by schizophrenics all my life, it has been a kind of theme--friends, family, and I have seen that this is possible. Medication...very tough. Yes schizophrenics can live somewhat normal lives on meds, but you still see it in their eyes. The infinite expanse and the boggled thoughts, the confusion, is still very much there. They do nothing but make those who consider themselves normal feel safe, while taking the edge off the hallucinations that schizophrenics experience. As such you may say they serve a purpose. I feel the only purpose they serve is to maintain a semblance of sanity for the sake of society and the comfort of the individual and their families. Is this wrong? No. Is this right? No. Is there another way...let's find out.

Connecting the dots as a compulsive behavior is indeed an important aspect of the schizophrenic's experience. The search for the real, the underlying essence. The problem is that this cannot be found by stringing concepts together with cause and effect strings (connecting the dots). You have a looking glass onto the infinite nature of existence. Why you have it, I don't know. But connecting the dots through infinity, where meaning is malleable, where everything is possible, where everything bleeds into everything else, is a futile and dangerous pursuit. Perhaps look at why you do this compulsively (yes we can point to neurological influences), but there is a reason you feel you must do this. I would say that you have glimpsed something very profound, the ultimate thing, and yet you do not realize yet that that ultimate reality cannot be held and manipulated by thought. All you can do is stand in it, be present with it, and know that your mind cannot touch it. When you know this in your very core, it is the deepest realization you can have. Then the mind no longer has an engine to drive it. I myself still have thoughts like the ones you describe all the time, and there are still moments when I get carried away by them. But the time it takes me to realize that I have been carried away by them is less than it has ever been. To be carried away by a thought requires your active participation, and there is a feeling of "making an effort" that you can actually sense. With enough time, this feeling to trying to think your way into infinity, of making an effort, may itself become an alarm that wakes you up and out of it. You are indeed the master of your universe, but don't get wrapped up in the concept of mastery, or you, or universe. Know only that you are in control

By saying that only a few or perhaps one person can attain full awakening (whatever that is), I think you are creating just the kind of beliefs that pose barriers to awakening. The mind is always doing this, and it does not matter what it turns its attention to. It is a concept machine, even when it is looking deep into a void. Even then it will find ways to structure that void, to create something that means something to it. This is futile, of course. My view is that all talk of chakras, auras, levels of awareness (while they may point to something that can be experienced) are limitations to awakening. Best to drop all concepts, all ideas of a path, of only certain people being predisposed to awakening, all of that stuff. I think the link between spirituality (or reality) and mental illness is becoming more clear. A fully awakened teacher may stand the best chance of helping to push a schizophrenic towards self-realization. There are more and more of them around. This bodes well for the "mentally ill."

Leaders, Self, Freedom

Seeker – I’m feeling the weight of the world today. There is so much anxiety, so much fear out there. People distrust, always seem to want something, “I do for you if you do for me.” It seems like a hopeless situation. New politicians come on the scene and promise hope, a new beginning, but all we get, if we’re lucky, is an updated version of the last leader. I’m loosing patience with it all.

Guru – We look for leaders to fix the world, to make it a kinder and more understanding place, but really this is not what we want. Our egos quickly become bored when there is nothing to fear, nothing to feel superior or inferior to. No great disasters on the horizon. When we cannot muse about the wrongs and evils of the past, or the hopes and fears of the future, what do we have? No, please understand this: we have created a state of affairs that suits us very well.

Seeker – That’s depressing.

Guru – Stop looking for a saviour, a guru, some leader to come and fix things. The solution to worldwide dysfunction resides in each individual. The solution is to recognize the illusory quality of the ego. When the ego is seen as nothing more than a mirage, then you have begun to clean your own house. Start with cleaning your own house, and then turn your attention on the world if you still want to.

Seeker – Ok, so I become enlightened, or awakened, or whatever it is, and the world remains dysfunctional. Then what?

Guru – How do you know what the world will be when you see reality for what it is, when you see truth? You do not see clearly now, so how do you know? You are projecting. Your mind cannot conceive of a seeing that has nothing to do with ego and concepts. You may find that there is nothing to fix anymore once you are free of dysfunction. Perhaps you will nevertheless feel compelled to act out of an unselfish sense of affection and compassion for all things. Find out and see.

Seeker – What if I fix myself and let the world go to hell?

Guru – Again, you are speculating about what you will feel when you see the universe for what it is. First see and then say what you see.

Seeker – Make me see then.

Guru – I cannot make you see. Your ego, the “I”, tells you that you need someone to come along and give you truth, when in fact you have the truth already, you are the truth. It is the ego that must go, and clear the way for the truth to shine. Even a fingernail can block the sun.

Seeker – How do I start?

Guru – Start by investigating the sense of “me” or “I.” Watch it move, see its motives. Every thought when the ego is active seeks something, desires something. It may not always be immediately clear what, so investigate it.

Seeker – Then poof, the ego just vanishes eh?

Guru – No, then you vanish.

Love, Ego, Religion

Seeker – There is one aspect of what you have been teaching me that I find hard to accept. I have realized that I am not my ego, and that my mind is infinitely limited, as you like to say. I understand that when the dependence on the mind is dropped, the present moment comes alive. My problem is that I feel only disconnectedness, or a numbness when I drop my thoughts. When I no longer think about other people and am no longer interested in them, how am I supposed to be concerned about them, and to…well…love them? You say that love is the point, but where does the love come in if you are no longer interested in other people?

Guru – Love does not come in or go out, it always is. The thoughts which you have dropped have been replaced by others, like the question “When I am no longer interested in other people, how am I supposed to be concerned about them?” So you see that the mind does not always give up its prime position easily. If you had truly dropped the barrier of thought and ego, this question would not even arise. The point is to realize—not in your mind—but to the very core, that your ego, the mind, your opinions and judgements, are only intermediaries between you and reality. If you truly remove the intermediary, you cannot help but feel deep compassion for the world. It is the most pure kind of compassion because it does not ask anything in return. It does not seek to feed the ego in compensation for its love.

S – What about the numbness I feel?

G – The numbness is an imaginary empty space created by the mind. You have dropped some of the old habitual thoughts—some of the ways that your mind previously approached the subject of other people. But the mind itself is still very much in operation. The mind is now fixating on the absence of the favourite old thoughts, and creating an emptiness out of that that is nothing but conceptual. Drop the fixation on the thought that something is lacking. The only thing that can mourn the loss of thought is thought itself.

S – So you’re saying I’m still wrapped up in thought.

G – Yes, but do not be overly concerned. The process has begun. You have seen a glimmer of light. Full realization will come.

S – What…what does that kind of love feel like?

G – Any answer I gave you to that question would be inadequate and only spawn other thoughts, which would themselves be inadequate. It is like asking me to tell you what infinity feels like—or anything else which the mind cannot touch. You must experience it. I will say only that it is to have no barrier between the self and the beloved. There is no thought. There is no motive. No trying to figure someone out conceptually. You accept that you know nothing about them, and that nothing is everything. Of course, such love moves beyond people and encompasses everything. Without any barriers in the awareness there is nothing which does no reveal itself as worthy of love. There is nothing, which is not love itself.

S – How did you come to realize this?

G – This is not important. What matters is how you come to realize it.

S – Was it sudden?

G – It was always there. I did not always realize that it was, but I see now that there was no moment when it was not there. The problem, the wonderful joke of it, is that it is the simplest thing, and its utter simplicity causes us to overlook it. Be simple and you will see simplicity.

S – One more thing. I wanted to ask you about religion. Is there good in it?

G – Religion will tell you nothing that you do not already know. We see the inherent contradiction with religion. They preach unity, but they are all exclusive. They have names—like Christianity, Islam and Buddhism—which distinguish one from the other. They have different systems, approaches, devices. They have different uniforms. They occupy different territories. They have become tools of opposition. This is not to say that the underlying message of many religions is incompatible with the true. Nothing is fully incompatible with the true. But suffice it to say that any aspect of religions that appeals to separation must stand in opposition to what is—call it god, or being, or love. Whatever divides and opposes rows hard in the opposite direction of that.

Real Life

Seeker – It’s been a strange week. It seems that, with every passing day, my mind holds less and less power over me. Now I get a feeling or exhaustion at the very thought of getting back on the merry-go-round of thought. Why would I want to do that? It has never worked before…

Guru – Very good.

S – And yet real life remains. It’s just there and can’t be ignored. I have to act in the world. There are things I care about, like the ecological health of the planet, the suffering of children in war torn countries. These things require action, commitment, planning and strategy. They require participation of the mind.

G – They require purity of intent to be effective. The mind can be a helpful tool, but there must be awareness beyond the mind which runs deeper that the simple motives of the mind. The mind is rigid, inflexible, and resistant to change. This is its nature. Without such resistance, it cannot use causality. Without causality it is paralysed. But the awareness is fluid and without motive. It wants only what it is, which is a purity of love that the mind cannot touch. Such love requires no motives to be effective. So the mind is a tool, and must be seen as a tool. When and if you engage in activism, operate through mind, not from it.

S – Can you give me an example?

G – You are an environmental activist. You are incredibly distraught over the clear cutting of old growth trees in Canada’s Boreal Forest. You have developed a passionate dislike, possibly hate, for the companies that are causing this destruction. You are angry at the consumers who do not check to see if their paper products are FSC certified. Do you think it is possible to be an effective advocate for your cause in such a divided, fragmented state, a state in which illusion and unconsciousness reign? A more awake version of this would be someone who has deep concern about the rate of clear cutting, but sees the whole. They bear no ill will towards those whose actions are the cause of this. Such an individual would feel as connected with the CEO who is ordering the clear cutting and he would with the tree that is being felled. There would be concern for both, and a deep understanding that there is order underlying all the chaos, one that cannot be understood by the mind, quantified, justified. All actions then would arise from a centre of balance and generalized compassion. There would be no good guys and bad guys.

S – But wouldn’t you be paralysed? Don’t you need bad guys and good guys to be able to act, to make decisions? I mean…if you love the CEO as much as the tree, you just sit there like a big ball of compassion and do nothing.

G – Does a mother who loves her child in a deep and unconditional way stand back if she sees her child being cruel to an animal or bullying another child? No, on the contrary, she acts instantly and without thought, from a place of pure compassion, and addresses her child’s behaviour for his own sake, and for that of the animal or child he is inflicting harm upon.

S – That’s hard to do.

G – It is impossible for the mind to do.

S -


Compassion—being defined as the ability, to not only understand another person's predicament, but to empathize with it—is dependent on the level of detail and surrounding context that is available. So lack of compassion results from a limited perspective and contextual understanding—or, put another way, not enough detail and a insufficient contextual gasp of a given situation. Gaining context and a wider perspective then will always result in increased compassion as long as the level of detail is not lost. If the level of detail is lost as you move to a broader and more inclusive perspective on a given situation, then you will only be substituting one scale for another scale. What this means is that cruelty is the result of not seeing broadly and clearly enough. There is no nasty or negative attitude that can hold in the face of more context, greater detail, deeper understanding.

The Two

All of a sudden Alistair Lyons was before them—one black and the other utterly white. They stood side-by-side, erect as ramrods, with globular heads and eyes that penetrated deep into him. Their eyes seemed to sink into an infinite vacuum of space below his consciousness and swap information about him. The black one examined him with what he could only describe as an intense disinterest, while the white one seemed almost on the verge of an emotional collapse at the sight of him.
“We will not harm you,” said the white one. After it spoke, he realized that its lips had not moved—that it had used telepathy.
“Be a tame point of consciousness,” advised the black one. This time he saw lips move, and the voice was not soft like that of the white one, but mechanical, obfuscated, it seemed, by some great difficulty of communication.
Alistair stood before them stunned. Only an instant earlier he had been preparing for bed. Now he was in a circular grey room, confronted by the strangest sight he had ever seen. His rational mind kept telling him to relax, to ride out the dream, while a deeper and more troubling voice inside him said that he was somewhere between dreams and reality, and that reality was actually relative—"yes," it said, "where you are at the moment is what is real." As he looked at them, he found his gaze returning most often to the face of the white one. Although bereft of any human-like features, it was a face that radiated complete caring…it was totally disarmed…and concerned…about everything. Looking at the face of the black one was more like looking into an abyss. It was not frightening so much as overwhelming, dizzying, requiring him to remind himself who he was for fear of forgetting everything.
“You are brave,” came the voice of the white one.
“He controls his fear with more fear,” said the black one.
“Would you like to learn what you are?” asked the white one.
There was something terrifying to Alistair about this gently worded question. He felt like a child being asked if he wanted to go up to the attic in a haunted house. His composure disappeared. He had long sensed an inhospitable landscape within him, something that shunned people but had been bent into a reticent and polite figure by socializing pressures. If not for those pressures, he wondered what he might have been capable of doing in this life just to have peace, to be left alone.
“He is not ready,” said the black one, metallically. “We have entered the continuum to soon.”
“He is ready,” came the voice of the white one.
“Let me go back,” said Alistair, feeling now like he had taken a terrible misstep that he could never retrace. Suddenly he realized that the white one was standing next to him, and with its presence cam a warm balm. All the tension in his muscles was drained and his mind rose higher on a windstorm of compassion. He felt as if he knew the being standing next to him, that he had known it for all eternity across the jagged pattern of a thousand lifetimes. Now he began to understand why he was being offered a glance as his inner self. He was being given a chance to take a giant leap forward…he was being shown mercy.
“Yes,” Alistair said, “show me.”
With that the black one appeared squarely in front of him. Alistair’s eyes were directly aligned with its eyes. Startled but buoyed by the energy of the white one, Alistair sank his gaze directly into the pitch-black orbs. He felt his awareness travel deep inside the eyes, into a blackness previously unknown to him. Despite the lack of concern he had felt from the black one, he now realized that the blackness was itself warm, populated with unlimited possibility—it was the birthing hole for existence. This was what lay at the heart of all experience—renewal, endless change, nothing was condemned, there was no need to forgive, all was completely as it should be…and still he went deeper….infinity stopped the mind in all directions, allowing only the awareness to continue like a naked child hurling through the dark….



"Humility is a prerequisite for advancement of spiritual understanding. Each surge forward in spiritual growth must be accompanied by a corresponding strengthening of humility. But it is important to understand that humility is not equivalent to a debasement of the self. Those who self-flagellate show a lack of understanding of their larger importance. That kind of self-debasement is the flipside of arrogance. Humility arises out of an egoless deepening of understanding. Humility exists only when a decision is made to remain open to new insights without an ulterior motive. When one does not seek knowledge to aggrandize the self, but only to be of greater use to the very forces that uplift all, then one can be humble. The purest form of humility, which can only be alluded to here, is the source of much beauty in the universe."


"I am talking about an awakening process, more than one of information accumulation."


"The structure of the so-called spiritual hierarchy is not in itself important. If you must think of the universe as hierarchical, then understand that the hierarchy bears no resemblance to the power-based and authoritative structures man has erected here. The weight of responsibly is felt more profoundly within the upper echelons, and that responsibility is also more welcomed there. Within the upper echelons is also a deeper understanding of the illusory nature of the hierarchy, as those who have attained higher levels of understanding have a correspondingly enhanced sense of humility and see themselves as a foundation that supports the less advanced levels as they strive for spiritual growth--they see themselves as servants. There is no order of importance."

The Goal

"The goal of the earth incarnation is to attain a state of complete selfless compassion that is both pre and post-thought, and which is felt to the very core. Pure selflessness is an absolute position that need not compromise, experiences no doubt, and will—in all instances and without calculation—act in the best interest of the whole. Action is the oft-ignored second half of compassion."


"Pure action requires an exquisite sensitivity to the moment and to one’s intentions. All outcomes must be sensed within the present moment in order for useful action to arise. Our actions are like pebbles we toss into a lake: one must be able to anticipate the ripples the stone will cause before the stone even leaves the hand. It is not necessary to intellectually foresee all outcomes of a given action across time and space (these are illusory anyway), but only to sense the patterns of the ripples they will create in advance. This can be done because the energy pattern of an action’s outcome is always already contained within the energy used to execute it."

Undivided Energy

"The separation of energies is illusory. It makes no more sense to say that a single wave is separate from the ocean it moves on. Denser energies may seem separated from those that are less dense, but this is an illusion rooted entirely in perception and the mind-state. With this understanding comes a greater sense of one’s responsibility to the whole. "

The Lessons of the Body

"The body is sensitive to our intent and the energies that intent creates. If the organism can be “tuned into," and we become sensitive to its permutations, then we can receive guidance from the body. The effect that our intent has on our body is parallel to the effects—at the subtle energy level—that it has on the world and, ultimately, the greater universe. Physical symptoms can indicate the predominance of harmful energies, or a need for energy recalibration. With great sensitivity, the intent can be calibrated against these sensations, and thereby focussed away from negativity. It is not necessary to decide if the negative energy originates from within or without, but only to take responsibility for the energies that you are home to."


"There is a trap hidden in the desire to seek spiritual wisdom. The seeking can itself become a pleasurable activity, a self-sustaining loop which seeks not fundamentally to attain spiritual insights, but is mainly concerned with perpetuating itself. Spiritual insight can be joyous, but it is also always sobering, drawing one inward and away from superficial pleasure. With true spiritual development must come an increased sense of responsibility, and the need to set down the various toys of the mind if they have become detriments. "


"Atheism can be a stage in spiritual development, but like any stage, it is possible to become stuck there. If the mind closes down and comes to rest at the stage of atheism (which is only a negation and nothing more), the issue of one’s inner nature will have been consciously pushed aside. But atheism can also serve as a blank slate in the process of spiritual development. The accumulated doctrine of organized religion is swept aside by the truly atheistic point of view. If the atheist is then willing—at some later point—to re-examine his or her views, this blank slate can become a springboard for spiritual development—an uncluttered room in which the right furniture can be arranged. Atheism, then, is not in itself a negative stance, although, in time, it may become a breeding ground for the perpetuation of negative energies in some."


"Dimensions can be compared to building blocks. The more you have, the more energy forms will be possible (and the more complex they can be). It is important to realize, however, that the way that the bocks are assembled is tied to intent.

When moving from one dimension to a higher one, it will be observed that what were contradictions or paradoxes within the lower level can exist together without contradiction at the higher one, as more context will be available. So what are genuine paradoxes at one level will be liberated and freed into a fuller meaning at the higher level. Furthermore, the speed at which energy transmutes as a result of intent is seemingly quicker at higher dimensions. The increase in speed (which is relative) will itself increase as you move higher, until there is no division between intent and manifestation—this is the realm of pure love. "


"Fear is artificial. There is no substance to it. Fear is the product of time, and positioning the ego in relation to events in time."

The Language of the Present Moment

"With time the awareness can be trained to experience what is without the distortions of the mind getting in the way. If you are able to train your mind to sit still for an extended period of time, the present moment will open up to you by degrees. By quieting the mind and maintaining the focus on the entirety of phenomena arising in the present moment, we allow ourselves to hear the language of the present, of what is. If you can train the attention to take in the entirety of present sense phenomena—while keeping the mind and its thought stream in focus without grasping—you will begin to hear the language of reality spoken in full sentences, rather than the single letters that the mind is able to interpret. Of course, grasping at these full “sentences” with the mind will immediately pull you out of the present."

The Dark Self

"Do not seek safety from the darker regions of the self, for such safety is illusory. Dealing with these dark regions is what you are here to do. Own what you are, but show compassion towards the self. This is what it means to take responsibility for your authenticity and the blockages that hinder the flow of love outwards. Above all understand that fear of the darker regions of the self is avoidance of responsibility. Eventually these energies will need to be faced."

Observing Nature

"Spend time observing nature, being in nature. There is nothing that the awareness cannot remember about the fundamental nature of existence from simply being in nature. Natural objects reject their human-given names more easily than any man-made object. The natural world exudes—even in its most violent moments—an energy of complete union, fluid interchange. "

Lessons at Night

"Much important work in done in the time of sleep. When the personality and its karma operate in the fully self-generated universe of dreams, challenges and important lessons are highlighted. "

Guru Dialogues -- Responsibility and Mind

s-Recently you were talking about responsibility, and how that relates to spirituality. You seemed to be saying that, in a way, they are the same thing. Can you explain that a bit more?

g-Sure. What I have tried to explain is that responsibility—and I am talking about a self-sustained and unshakable sense of responsibility—is an important aspect of mature spirituality. When someone feels truly responsible there is no division between the self and the world, because that deep sense of responsibility resides at the very heart of one’s perception and action. True responsibility means not mentally delimiting the scope of your involvement with the world or with the self. You accept all of it as falling within your domain and put up no barriers. You feel very deeply that you—the essence of you—are fundamentally connected to everything that is. You understand that there is no loving or nasty deed that is utterly foreign to you. You also take responsibility internally for anything you feel or think. Every greedy thought, every ounce of nastiness, fear, as well as every kind or loving thought you have. You accept responsibility for all of it and then you engage it constructively. You become active. Imagine how the world would be transformed if everyone were responsible in that way.

s-That sounds to me like assuming a lot of guilt for things that you haven’t done.

g-Guilt is a choice, a position, and that is another subject altogether, but, yes, there is a heaviness that is a natural part of accepting such a great load. But understand that the heaviness is more than counterbalanced by the awareness that you are also—at a fundamental level—tied to the great, loving deeds of mankind. So all you are doing is expanding, without limit, the scope of what you are taking responsibility for. Instead of just the standard personal triumphs and shames, you are taking on all triumphs and shames.

s-So you’re saying that I shouldn’t feel guilty for any single act in my past?

g-If you decide to feel guilty for any one act and direct your attention there, then you are making a decision to fixate on the memory of one past deed, and so you have shrunk your realm of responsibility again. Then you are ignoring the good, the love, and the compassion that is also in evidence everywhere you look, inside or outside yourself. There is a difference between learning from our actions and suffocating ourselves with them. It is the same if you are continually comforting yourself with past actions that you feel were commendable, and writing yourself blank cheques in the present with them. In both cases you have taken your eye off the ball. The past is the past and the future is the future. What you have done or think you will do are of no consequence to the decisions you can make NOW.

s-To take responsibility for everything, don’t you have to know everything?

g-To know everything consciously, in the mind, with thoughts, with memory? No, that is neither possible, nor would it be useful. Instead you are sensing and fundamentally grasping the state of the world and the self as it is. You can do this because there is actually no division between yourself and the world. The division lies only in perspective.

s-There it is again. You often put down the mind and thoughts. I don’t understand why you think that thoughts are useless.

g-Useless is not a word I would use. Thinking can be useful, but understand that much of the dysfunction that you see in the world today has come out of an excessive fixation on thought, logic, on the rational, the material, that which can be measured. This is powered by a fear of the unknown, loss of control, which is itself a quirk of the mind. So what has happened, then? We have rationalized ourselves en mass away from the truth that sits patiently inside each of us, which is not knowable in the way that the circumference of a circle is knowable. This truth requires us to wake up and out of the constant thought stream of the mind. Unless we can do that, we remain unconscious to the inner reality, which—paradoxically it will seem—is also the outer reality. We’ll talk more about that another time.


g-Thank you.

The Shambolic Mind - Entry 1

Maybe it’s the information that’s getting to me. Certainly there’s way too much of it. The information is even coming at me from everyday appliances—my overused toaster is telling me things I’d rather not know about my eating habits, my vacuous fridge is a constant rebuke to bachelor life. Its creaking door and cavernous echo is like a one-two punch joke told over and over by an aging comedian. When I walk outside, the city air brings yet more information. It carries the fallout of science right to my nose, the bouquets of pollutants generated by chemical reactions in nearby industrial valleys. What is a man supposed to do when he wants to just turn off? The modern citizen is either defeated by the information, or must learn to surf it. He must bob on the tide of bulletins, news briefs, memos, mission statements, apocalyptic warnings, dictator declarations, friendly advice, constructive and deconstructive criticism, late night sports scores, market analyses, spurious spam, monsoon warnings, the telltale headaches and abdominal pains, the little voice in his head cheering for his ruin, and the other more fulsome voice, telling him anything is possible, telling him to haul his little load of misery to the trash like a grownup.

Mind, Ego, Time, Space....Division

This, I think, is the essence of Krishnamurti's teachings:

The mind operates through division, which is the same thing as quantification. This is its fundamental activity. Every other activity of the mind--such as measurement or analysis--flows from division and is dependant upon division. Everything that the mind generates/perceives is as a result of that basic isolating, dividing or quantifying action. Anything that the mind cannot determine the limits of—anything that it calls "infinite"—also cannot be held in the mind and manipulated. That which cannot be quantified is essentially outside the capabilities of the mind and therefore useless to the mind.

The mind uses division to create the concepts of space and time, as well as its own ego or sense of separateness. So we see that space, as a concept, is not possible unless the mind can distinguish and separate visual phenomena, and then create a conceptual stage for those phenomena which it separates from all other concepts and calls "space." Likewise, time as a concept is not possible unless the mind can further subdivide appearances of phenomena in space along an imaginary continuum, and then take that conceptual continuum itself, separate it from other concepts and call it "time." The ego also cannot exist without the mind’s ability to separate one quantity from another--in this case that involves isolating/opposing the self and its attributes and desires in relation to others and their attributes and desires.

This whole discussion becomes more interesting if we then see that the mind is in fact also artificial because division itself creates it. Just like that which the mind creates, the mind as a concept is itself a creation of division and cannot exist without it. I think this is essential for Krishnamurti. If someone wants to deal with his or her ego and overactive, negative mind, it is a mistake to position the mind or ego as separate, something to be opposed and dominated. The awareness is falling into a trap if it itself isolates mind into a separate entity. If it does this then it is itself employing division (and is therefore more appropriately called mind). Instead the awareness should locate the urge to create division itself, and eliminate that from its fundamental worldview. From this point compassion and engagement can flow naturally. Other people, the earth, animals, all of it can be recognized as no more than appearences of one unified energy (or whatever you want to call it...being, god, etc), and cared for accordingly. It is important to note that this way of seeing the world is not conceptual, but is actually a mode or way of being--operating from pure awareness, and understanding that division is a practical tool for manifesting its essential nature (call it universal love) and nothing more.

Deflection Vs. Diffusion

Here’s an idea. The human awareness can be imagined as a directional flow of intent or interest. When I am reading a book, my awareness is—if I am able to concentrate—located somewhere within the content of the book. If I am taking a walk and observing my surroundings with interest, my attention will be focused on whatever comes into the field of my senses. I think, however, that there is an important distinction to be made between environments (and individual objects within them) that deflect the attention and those that absorb or diffuse it. In a city with advertisements on every wall and a million things trying to snag your focus, it is not abnormal to feel like your attention is caught in a pinball machine. Advertisements, snazzy dressers, fancy sports cars, are all calling out for your attention and are shrewdly designed to deflect it towards a specific target. In a natural environment, however, we are presented with a totally different kind of phenomenon. In nature our attention is gently absorbed, and diffused along the multiple lines of a beauty that cannot be measured or quantified. IN nature the observed presents us with no ulterior motive. There is nothing for the mind to do. In this sense, nature functions as a kind of ground zero for the mind, a beautiful black hole for its ambitions and motives.

Schizophrenia and “Enlightenment”--two sides of the same coin?

Does schizophrenia—in certain cases—provide an opportunity for the individual to effectively “pop” out of their mind and disassociate with it (a la Buddha). We might think of it as a sailor on a ship who jumps into the water before his boat crashes into a rocky shore. Could schizophrenia, then, be a kind of evolutionary pressure from the standpoint of consciousness? In that case, what opportunity is being missed for humanity if we are just labeling them, medicating them and locking them up?

Higher Dimensional Thought?

Higher dimensional thought might be something like being able to hold a great number of apparently contradictory or (superficially unconnected) concepts relating to one “zone” of thought in the consiousness at once. The quantum physicist needs to do this to get a sense of the underlying reality that the particle-wave duality points to. This is also apparently the mode of thought in eastern mysticism.

Capra makes a connection between the eastern mystic's thought style and that of the modern quantum physicist when he quotes Ashvaghosha in The Tao of Physics:

“The Eastern way of thinking consists in circling around the object of contemplation…forming a many-sided, multidimensional impression from the superimposition of single impressions from different points of view.” (p. 159 Tao of Physics).

Here “single impressions” would be what is seen and understood in standard 4-d thought. Combining multiple 4-d perspectives in relation to one idea will reveal that that single idea is itself actually a zone of thought that is better contemplated, as Ashvaghosha says, in a circular, synchronous way. Jiddu Krishnamurti seems to be pointing, without explicitly saying so, towards such a way of thinking. Attention, a word used frequently by Krishnamurti, is a state in which judgment is held in suspension, and curiosity is maintained. In this state one never says a categorical “yes” or a categorical “no” to anything, and therefore does not let the awareness close itself off to avenues of possibility.

Notes on Schizophrenia - The Moment of Truth

The essential element in the schizophrenic’s delusional reality is, I think, the dominance of the ego. It seems that the schizophrenic clasps the ego like a buoy in stormy seas as his mind is pulled deeper into an ocean of synchronicity. As the safe and ordered cause-and-effect reality fails (which is in fact in some ways as artificial as the world which the schizophrenic builds for themselves), and they get a glimpse of the synchronous universe, they recoil in fear (which is very understandable). Just what happens at this point is perhaps beyond description—it may be that the ego fights for its existence, or it may be that the schizophrenic clings to the ego--probably both--but the end result is the same. As the ability to adhere to socially condoned cause-and-effect strings falls away, and the open universe yawns before them, the ego becomes the last vestige of the old consensual reality for the schizophrenic. Their connection with the “real” therefore now funnels into them entirely through the ego—a bit like a grossly distorted lens. The awareness now stands “behind” the ego in the synchronous universe, clutching it in desperation.

Notes of Schizophrenia - Always On

The schizophrenic’s mind is always on. There are exceptions, but many schizophrenics report feeling like they are unable to stop thinking. The nightmares that schizophrenics often experience are sleeping mirrors of the paranoid schizophrenic state that they deal with during the day. The mind of the schizophrenic simply cannot be turned off, making wild connections and grandiose calculations or circling through the worlds they have created when the delusion-making has settled for a while. Much of the thinking is of course repetitive, since much of the calculating, connecting activity is rooted in obsessively thinking about objects of fear, and how those objects of fear may manage to inflict harm on the schizophrenic. The object(s) of fear will often become the central fixture in the schizophrenic’s thinking, the mirror(s)/shadow(s) of their ego.

Notes on Schizophrenia - Mixing of Properties

Mixing of Properties: Objects and concepts are mixed and matched, mostly as a means of attempting to hold together the world-view.

The schizophrenic's world-view cannot hold together without the creation of chimera or hybrid concepts. First the ego is aggrandized, and then the world-view is made to fall into place around the central axiom of: everything relates to me directly, and everything I do has an effect on some important aspect of the world. The connections will often have to be far flung (and this is not difficult for the schizophrenic), since placing one’s ego at the centre of the world is an untenable position logically and ethically. Once, for example, you have come to believe that aliens are transmitting messages to you through the sequences of your DNA, you will be forced to open a complimentary Pandora’s box of concepts and beliefs that will need to be equally fanciful and equally implausible (faulty logic requires faulty logic to sustain itself). At this point, regular intrusions from the real world (contact with loved ones and friends, etc) may become disturbing as these contacts will dispute or contradict the distorted world view the schizophrenic is fashioning. These "real-life" intrusions will need to be interpreted, warped, contorted in order for the schizophrenic to keep themselves from descending into a full blown psychosis due to untenable contradictions in the reality that they firmly believe, and the events of the “real’ world.

Notes on Schizophrenia - Ego Amplification

The schizophrenic’s mind makes connections that would strike most as inappropriate. The glue that holds them together, once the grip on consensual, everyday reality is lost, seems to be a general ego fixation with redirects all happenings in the world back onto the schizophrenic. The ego fixation replaces what is commonly understood as logical or sequential thinking in the average person, and now acts as directional scaffolding for the schizophrenic’s thoughts. In other words, the ego looks out, and sees the world—all of it—heading straight for it. This ego-centred perception becomes the basis upon which the world now seems to function.

Without the ego, the schizophrenic feels they would be lost in an unfathomable, synchronous world, so the ego amplification provides a last shred of conventional or everyday world meaning in an increasingly confusing reality. Fear forces the mind to cling to the ego for fear of going “around the bend.” Fear is also what often results from an intensification of the ego, since the external is seen as always wanting/trying to give or take something away from the schizophrenic (to harm or to benefit him).

The disinterested world, the neutral world, simply cannot exist for the schizophrenic.

The Paradox and the Synchronous Event

It might be worthwhile comparing the paradox to the highly coincidental or synchronous event, as there are some interesting conceptual points of correspondence. We can see that they are both pairings of events/concepts/ideas that hang together in a solid and compelling way, and yet which seem to have their point of connection outside the scope of the rational mind.